Prayer of Cesar Chavez

Poetry: a pantoum

Addiction

One day I should wake up from this. I will

be finally free from the nonsense that binds.

Why do fools let nonsense bind? It always coils

around weak necks, breaking weak vessels.

“Be finally free from the nonsense that binds!”

a bound man once told me, a man who has seen the chains

around weak necks breaking weak vessels.

“…for those with wings were not born to be bound.”

A bound man once told me, “A man who has seen the chains,

one who has tasted captivity, should later love to be free.”

“For those with wings were not born to be bound,”

I told the bound man.

One who has tasted captivity, should later love to be free.

Why do fools let nonsense bind? It always coils.

I told the bound man,

“One day I should wake up from this. I will.”

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My poetry class' notebooks are due tomorrow. Here is a "pantoum"--a form which "builds quatrains with interwoven or alternating repeated lines." For the most part, I like it. (Some comments on it would be lovely). The only line that I'm doubting at the moment is the first and last. In it, I use a metaphor for sleeping/waking while the rest of the poem deals with binds, chains, and captivity. In some ways, I like that first and last lines are a bit different but I'm not sure if my teacher, the venerable poet R.S. Carlson (we love Ralph!), will prefer congruency. We shall see...

In other news, I have been neglecting Xanga. I will continue to do so until I am free from this thing called first semester sophomore year. It's been absolutely delightful, but I'm ready to have another kind of delightful in my life--one that includes more sleep and no homework. And when my holiday is up, I'm off to L.A. Term! I don't think I've ever been so excited for a move. While I have love Azusa, I know that so much is to come next semester. And this isn't a good bye but a "see you later." I'm so excited to live in a city again. Suburbs-shmaburbs. At least Azusa is predominantly Latino; that factor, Azusa Food Bank, King Ranch Market (which sells maté and empanada dough), and the gorgeous Glendoran/Azusan hills that I've come to love keep me going in this suburb. While living in the predominantly-white suburb of Glendora over the summer, it was Pam and Wes' awesomeness and hospitality, Kevin's random comments, the dogs Sam and Bo (except for when they poo-ed in my room), and the chai tea at Classic Coffee that kept this either-city-or-outdoors girl happy.

In other other news, my parents arrive the week of finals. They'll be here for Christmas and *drumroll* my brother's wedding. I'm going to be a bridesmaid! I haven't been in a wedding since I was a wee little girl. I was one rockin' flower girl back in the day. All of the Colombians wanted la gringuita in their wedding haha.

It's getting late. I must abandon prose and return to poetry...

A broken and contrite heart...

Psalms 51:14-19

 

14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. 15 O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. 16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. 18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper; build up the walls of Jerusalem. 19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices, whole burnt offerings to delight you; then bulls will be offered on your altar.

sin.

repentance.

praise.

brokenness.

humility.

restoration.

righteousness.

God, humble me.

Humble APU. Humble the United States of America and all of the western world.

We have so much to learn from the history of a nation that began to forsake God and its neighbors. By no means am I trying to say the U.S. is "the chosen nation" of today--or even a Christian nation at that. But like the Israel of old, we are in dire need of change.

It took slavery to arouse Israel from its slumber. It took evil forces of Persia and Babylon to instill a hatred of injustice in their hearts. It took exile from their land and distance from their temple to seek the face of Yahweh once more.

I wonder what it's going to take for us.

I pray we don't learn the hard way.

I pray that we will let go of our pride and embrace and engage in something beyond ourselves.

I pray that we will begin to love...

Sometimes, I can do nothing but stand in awe of God's grace and blessings. He has given me so much. The valley has been more than worth the wilderness. I have tasted depression, and Yahweh was there. I have basked in joy, and Yahweh was there. I have stood on the Andes and flown over oceans and always, He was there. As I gaze upon my life, I see His fingerprints, though He has no human hand.  I see money where there was none, community where there was loneliness, hope were there was despair, life where there was death, fulfillment were there was emptiness, beauty where there were scars, boldness were there was timidity, confidence were there was insecurity, and a home were there was a sojourner's labyrinth. A fool would call this the mere cycle of life, but he who has open eyes cannot deny the Divine.

There is something about this school year that is so utterly different from the last and from all others before that as well. I can't remember ever feeling quite the way I have these past weeks--like I was in the right place at the right time and freely being the person I always wanted--that I am meant--to be. I feel as though every cry that I have uttered the past years has been thunderously responded to in a flood of grace.

Father, You have remained faithful when I have been faithless. The cross is of greater value to me than all of the comforts of this earth.  In the upside-down kingdom of the Way, I have found life in sacrifice. Rome's symbol of an outcast's shameful death is this outcast's symbol of life--and life abundantly.

Forgive me for ever thinking that I had Christianity figured out--that I actually knew what it meant to wholly follow You. Forgive me for thinking that I knew who You were when I followed but a copy of the true King. Forgive me for thinking that being a Christian means dwelling in an alternative subculture when it truly revolves around disturbing and healing the broken world through radical love. Forgive me for thinking that Christians are promised safety, comfort, and happiness, when our true lot is the Cross.

Jesus, my Lord, I feel as though I finally have a glimpse of what it means to love You...

May I love you still when you take away, when I am found in the wilderness of depression and pain. May the Cross still be my greatest treasure and serving Your people, my heart's cry. 

You have given me such joy. In the simplicity of everyday life, You have made me whole.

Currently Reading The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical By Shane Claiborne see related

The wholeness of God

I’m currently reading The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. I’m absolutely loving the book and many parts of it remind me  of Jim Wallis’ The Soul of Politics. Both authors offer a picture of the wholeness of God and moral living, something that I’ve been thinking about quite a bit lately, especially in my readings of Psalm 15 and 24.

Many of us like to pick the Bible apart, highlighting what we like and ignoring the rest. We love to focus on passages and verses that highlight our passions and strengths and we then make those topics the center of our gospel. Yet our fragments of the good news fail to transform lives as does the complete good news of Christ. Whenever I begin to focus on only one part of the gospel or one aspect of God's character, I find myself feeling empty and far from God. It is easy to forget that our God is a holistic God, that He is strong in all things. He is Love—and love knows no bounds. He is complete in and of Himself. He is holy and He is just. Many Christians focus on the holiness of God and how we are to live pure and undefiled lives, while many others (and often more “liberal” Christians) focus on righteousness and what it means to be just in a world full of injustice. One group is passionate about a personal Savior while the other is passionate about a social Savior. But both groups are often lacking and both “saviors” are incomplete, lacking the power of the true Savior who alone is able to save and transform the whole of man and society.

The predominant Christian subculture fails to realize that holiness cannot exist without justice, for injustice is impurity, and to be advocates of abstinence while ignoring poverty and oppression falls short of what James called “pure and undefiled religion”. Yet to be passionate about social justice while living an impure life cuts one off from the very source of righteousness. The writer of Hebrews said “without holiness no one will see the Lord”. Ascending His hill and dwelling in His courts requires purity in heart and action combined with loving morality (justice/righteousness) toward our neighbor. Many begin the ascent up the mountain, wanting to see the face of God but they never catch more than a glimpse because they ignore His hurting children. Others long to serve his children yet they fail to gaze at God and become powerless in their service. If we look at God long enough, we will see His passion for the broken and that He longs to use us to turn the world of injustice upside down through the revolutionary love of Christ. And if we gaze at His children long enough, we will see that we are all desperate sinners in need of a holy God to teach us how to live in a holy way.

Many Christians lack power because they lack faith in the true God. We have erected an icon—a false Jesus that fits the mold we have chosen, a Jesus that makes us feel safe and comfortable, and not a Jesus that makes us tremble and change, that transforms every part of who we are and the societies we live in. The entire character of God needs to consume every part of us or we will be weak, lifeless, and stagnant, and will fail to glorify the Creator and be a loving creation. The heart of God is large beyond measure and we often fail to make it dance with joy; we lack the audacity to grow out of our complacency and explore every chamber of His heart and the breadth of His passionate love. We must delve into every part of God; until we know His wholeness, we ourselves will never be whole, and will but but dim shadows of the world-shaking substance we were created to be. 

Who may ascend the hill of the LORD? Or who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted up his soul to an idol, nor sworn deceitfully, he shall receive blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation. This is [the God of] Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him, who seek Your face.–Psalm 24:3-6

LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart; he who does not backbite with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbor, nor does he take up a reproach against his friend; in whose eyes a vile person is despised, but he honors those who fear the LORD; he who swears to his own hurt and does not change (does not break an oath); he who does not put out his money at usury, nor does he take a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things shall never be moved. –Psalm 15